


When I Die I'll be on Time

by OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor



Series: Naruto Drabbles [17]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 04:11:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12927147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor/pseuds/OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor
Summary: Tenzo makes a move on Kakashi, and Kakashi kind of panics.





	When I Die I'll be on Time

**Author's Note:**

> Author has not finished Shippuden

     He came back covered in blood. Tenzo’s heart stuttered. He tried to assess the damage as Kakashi made his slow way to report on his latest mission. Tenzo followed quietly after, though he knew he shouldn’t. But there was so much blood. Kakashi made his way to the locker room, and Tenzo heard the hiss of the shower. He waited. He just had to know if his Senpai was ok. Kakashi stepped out of the locker room, hair still damp, face mask not pulled up yet.   
     “Tenzo?” Kakashi called softly. “I can feel you lurking.” Tenzo moved out of the shadows, trying to take in every inch of Kakashi at once.  
     “I’m ok, Tenzo,” Kakashi said. “Most of it wasn’t mine.” Tenzo stepped forward, slowly, as if he were afraid Kakashi would bolt. Every move was smooth and fluid, calm and purposeful. He pressed his forehead to Kakashi’s.   
     “I worry about you, Senpai,” he said. His hands traced light patterns from Kakashi’s shoulders to his elbows and back again. He moved farther into Kakashi’s space, tugging him closer, palms splayed against his shoulder blades. His lips brushed Kakashi’s, gentle but insistent. Kakashi wanted nothing more than to melt into Tenzo’s embrace, to let himself be held, to just not think, if only for a moment. But he couldn’t he couldn’t let Tenzo break down his walls. He slid his hands between their chests, heart aching as he felt Tenzo’s pounding heartbeat beneath his fingertips. Palms flat, he pushed.   
     “I can’t, Tenzo. I can’t.”  
_____

     “Anko, what am I supposed to do?” Tenzo asked. He looked at her, and Anko’s heart broke for the anguish in her friend’s eyes. “He literally pushed me away, Anko.” Tenzo pulled his feet up onto the chair, resting his head on his knees, letting his long hair hide his face. Anko didn’t know what to do either. And seeing Tenzo so emotional… Usually she had to pry any bit of emotion out of the ANBU operative.   
     “Let me get you a beer,” she said.   
     “Anko, I’m still under age,” Tenzo reminded her.   
     “You can stay here tonight, I’ll watch out for you.” Anko cracked the can open and held it out to Tenzo. He studied her for a long moment, then took the can and drained it.   
     “I don’t want to remember any of this,” he said. Anko perched on the arm of the chair and stroked Tenzo’s hair.

     A frantic knocking on the door woke Anko up. She glared at the door but the knocking didn’t stop. She rolled out of the bed, careful not to disturb Tenzo on the other side. He was curled into a ball, tucked against the wall, long hair spread around him. She opened the door, interrupting Kakashi mid-knock. This was not good. Anko kept her body between Kakashi and the rest of the apartment.   
     “Can I help you?” Anko asked.   
     “I can’t find Tenzo,” Kakashi said, ignoring Anko’s tone. “We were supposed to meet up to train. He never showed. He’s not in his apartment.” Anko crossed her arms over her chest.   
     “Maybe he just didn’t want to train,” Anko said. Kakashi shook his head.   
     “No, not Tenzo. He wouldn't not show up without telling me.”  
     “Maybe he just doesn’t want to see you,” Anko said.  
     “You know something,” Kakashi said, narrowing his eyes.   
     “So what if I do?” Anko said, staring him down.   
     “Anko. I need to know if he’s all right.”   
     “He’ll have one hell of a hangover, but he’s fine,” Anko said.   
     “Where is he?” Kakashi asked.  
     “I’m not telling you,” Anko said, planting her hands on her hips.   
     “Tell me where he is,” Kakashi growled.   
     “Don’t think you can intimidate me, Hatake,” Anko said, refusing to budge.  
     ”Anko, is everything ok?” Tenzo asked blearily.   
     “Everything’s fine, honey,” Anko said, not breaking eye contact with Kakashi.   
     “Tenzo?” Kakashi called, trying to see around Anko.   
     “Don’t yell,” Tenzo muttered, even though Kakashi hadn’t raised his voice. He padded up behind Anko, resting his chin on her shoulder. That move told Anko that he wasn’t ready to face Kakashi on his own yet.   
     “Tenzo, what the hell happened? You look like death,” Kakashi said.Tenzo winced. Anko bristled.   
     “I’m sorry for worrying you, Senpai,” Tenzo said. “But I can’t deal with you today. Just give me a day.” Tenzo shifted his focus to Anko. “My head hurts,” he whimpered into her shoulder. Anko reached around to pat his head.  
     “I know, sweetheart. There’s aspirin on the counter in the kitchen. Take two, and I’ll make you something for your hangover in a minute, ok baby?”  
     “Mmm hmmm,” Tenzo hummed, head still resting against her shoulder. Anko gave a little shrug to go get him moving. Tenzo slipped back into the apartment. Kakashi watched him intently.   
     “What the fuck did you do to him?” Kakashi growled.  
     “I made sure he had a safe place to stay,” Anko growled back. “I made sure he had a friend to listen to him.”  
     “What happened?” Kakashi asked.  
     “Are you fucking kidding me, Hatake? You happened. You shoved him away without an explanation,” Anko said. Kakashi opened his mouth, but Anko held up her hand.  
     “No, you don’t get to talk, I’m not done yet. Tenzo is the sweetest, most wonderful person I’ve ever met. He is the best of all of us. Now, I know you flirt with anything with a pulse. I know it’s a coping mechanism too. Don’t look at me like that, we’re all damaged. But you don’t get to toy with him, Kakashi. If you don’t want a relationship, whatever, that’s your loss. But do not play with Tenzo,” Anko said.   
     “I know he’s the best, why do you think I pushed him away? You think he deserves this? You think I would burden someone I care about with me?” Kakashi yelled. Anko stepped fully into the hallway, pulling the door mostly shut behind her.   
     “I would rather rip my own heart out than hurt him,” Kakashi said. “I was a fool for letting him get this close in the first place.” Anko slapped him hard.   
     “You’re a fool for not giving him a chance,” she said. “Go home, Kakashi.” She slipped back into her apartment, closing the door in his face. Kakashi heard the lock click. He sank to the floor as exhaustion rolled over him. Tenzo was safe. He wasn't dead or injured or any of the hundreds of other awful scenarios Kakashi’s mind had produced. Kakashi let his head rest against Anko’s door. He focused on his breathing, trying to calm the frantic pounding of his heart. Tenzo was ok. Tenzo was ok. Tenzo was ok. Maybe he couldn’t do this any more. Even with all his ANBU training, he was too attached. Maybe it was time to step away from ANBU. He could still serve the village as a regular jonin. And it would put some distance between him and Tenzo. The very thought made his heart ache. But Anko was right. Tenzo was the best of any of them. And Kakashi had already let him too close. Tenzo would only be hurt by association with him. Everyone Kakashi was close to got hurt. He couldn’t do that to Tenzo. Tenzo had suffered enough in his life without Kakashi adding to that. Kakashi gathered all his energy and dragged himself to his feet. Anko might actually kill him if she found him here.   
Kakashi didn’t know how long he had been wandering the village before Guy found him.   
     “My youthful rival!” Guy shouted enthusiastically. “Up for a challenge?” Kakashi winced.  
     “Hey, Guy,” he muttered. Guy slipped out of his Challenge Pose and studied his friend.   
     “Shit, Kakashi, you look like hell.”  
     “Thanks, Guy, it’s great to see you too,” Kakashi said.   
     “When did you last eat?” Guy asked. Kakashi shrugged. Guy slung an arm around Kakashi’s shoulder.   
     “C’mon, I’ll make you something,” he said, dragging Kakashi along with him. Kakashi considered protesting, shrugging off Guy’s arm, going somewhere… Else. But he didn’t. He let Guy guide him through the streets, let Guy settle him at the kitchen table while Guy busied himself in the kitchen. Guy didn’t ask questions while he cooked. He hummed, he talked to himself, he danced in the confined space with movements smaller than Kakashi thought Guy was capable of. Kakashi would have thought Guy had forgotten him, except for the occasional worried glances shot his way. Guy set a bowl in front of Kakashi, pulling out the chair opposite and sitting down himself. Kakashi stared blankly at the food in front of him.   
     “It works better if you eat it,” Guy said, his voice actually successfully modulated to an indoor volume.   
     “You’re really worried, aren’t you?” Kakashi said.   
     “What makes you say that?” Guy asked with as much innocence as he could muster.   
     “You’re feeding me, and using your inside voice,” Kakashi said. Guy shrugged.   
     “Am I right to be?” Guy asked. Kakashi shrugged. Guy took a bite of his own food and waited.   
     “You make me nervous when you’re this quiet,” Kakashi said. Guy just grinned and took another bite of his concoction. Kakashi lifted a forkful to his nose and sniffed suspiciously. It smelled amazing, and Kakashi was suddenly hyper aware of how hungry he was. When had he eaten last? And eaten something more than a food pill to keep him going? He shoveled food into his mouth with desperation. Guy didn’t say anything, but he scooped more food from the skillet into Kakashi’s bowl.   
     “Tenzo,” Kakashi said around a mouthful of food.   
     “What about Tenzo?” Guy prodded.   
     “Tenzo kissed me,” Kakashi said, still talking with his mouth full.   
     “Good for Tenzo!” Guy said.   
     “I pushed him away,” Kakashi said. Guy winced.   
     “Then, apparently, he went and got absolutely trashed with Anko.” Kakashi shoved more food into his mouth.   
     “He didn’t show up for training this morning. I might have panicked. Then I found him, at Anko’s. Tenzo said he ‘couldn’t deal with me today’. Then Anko yelled. Then she slapped me.” Guy winced again. They’d all been on the wrong side of Anko’s anger at one point or another. Kakashi stared mournfully at his bowl, as if Guy’s cooking held all the answers. He didn’t even know what questions he was asking, just that they ate at what was left of his soul.   
     “How do you actually know how to cook?” Kakashi asked.  
     “Not all of us can live on take out and instant ramen,” Guy said with a sniff. “It’s not healthy. Why’d you push him away?” It was the question that most needed answered and the one Kakashi most wanted to avoid.   
     “I don’t know,” he said automatically.   
     “Bullshit,” said Guy.   
     “Guy, you’ve been around long enough to know my life is one hell of a mess! People get hurt.”   
     “You can’t use that argument on me, because I’m still here,” Guy said. Kakashi paused. Maybe Guy had a point… He shook his head. It was too much of a risk. And if he somehow lost Tenzo… He didn’t know if he could survive that.   
     “Stop it,” Guy said. “You’re going to the dark place again.” He distracted Kakashi with more food.   
     “Let’s be frank, Kakashi. Tenzo’s really the one you need to be having this conversation with.” Kakashi shrugged, focusing intently on his bowl.  
     “It’s not going to go away if you ignore it,” Guy said. “It’s better to face the problem head on!”   
     “I’d rather avoid my problems with literature,” Kakashi said drily.   
     “Kakashi,” Guy scolded.   
     “I know, I know. And as much as I hate to admit it, you’re right,” Kakashi said. Guy laughed, clapping him on the shoulder.   
     “Then do something about it!”  
______

     Tenzo dragged himself out of Anko’s house to the training grounds. A full day of moping was all he would allow himself. He would meet Kakashi for training like normal. He would keep himself together and pretend that everything was fine. He could do this. Even if it took all of his ANBU training. At least he had some time to compose himself before Kakashi arrived. But the familiar shock of silver hair waited for him, sprawled out under a tree, novel open. Tenzo jolted. He didn’t expect Kakashi to be here.   
     “Senpai.” He hated the uncertainty in his voice.   
     “Tenzo.” Kakashi sounded just as unsure. Kakashi stood up, setting his book carefully on the ground. Tenzo sank into a ready stance.   
     “Tenzo,” Kakashi said again, as if he didn’t know what else to say. The younger ninja cocked his head.   
     “Tenzo,” Kakashi tried once more, “We need to talk.” Tenzo shook his head.   
     “No, we don’t. It was a mistake, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.” Tenzo refused to meet Kakashi’s eyes.   
     “No! It’s not like that!” Kakashi growled, dragging a hand down his face. “God, I’m awful at this. It’s… Don’t waste your time on me. I’m a mess, and and I don’t want to drag you into that.” Kakashi looked up, feeling Tenzo’s eyes on him. Tenzo’s expression snapped with anger.   
     “You don’t fucking get to decide for me, Senpai! It’s not up to you to decide who I want to date, who I choose to take a chance on. You don’t get to decide what I can and can’t handle!” Tenzo said, jabbing Kakashi in the chest with his finger. “If you don’t want to date me, fine. I can accept that. But not for that reason. Not because you think you’re a waste of time, that I deserve better than you. That’s not your call. Hell, you deserve better than some rejected science project.” Tenzo spread his arms wide. “But here I am.”  
     “Tenzo…” Kakashi tried.   
     “No! Don’t ‘Tenzo’ me! Either you respect me or you don’t, Kakashi. Which is it?”   
     “I respect you,” Kakashi said slowly, hanging his head, as if the words weighed a thousand pounds. Tenzo was in his space again, fingers feather-light on his cheeks.   
     “We’re both broken, Kakashi,” Tenzo whispered in the space between them. “But we don’t have to be so alone.” 


End file.
